The Simple Life

Is it just me, or does life become much simpler when left to your own devices? My wife is on day two of a five day adventure with her mother in Florida, leaving me in charge of Larry, Mo and Curly (who is currently chewing on Larry, can hear him whining in the other room). Doggie care notwithstanding, this is life at its’ simplest form. Take dinner for example. If both of us are home, making dinner in our household is a dance of such complexity as to make the Bolshoi ballet proud. Fortunately, this dance only happens 7 days a week, otherwise I might go insane and start repeating myself. Fortunately, this dance only happens 7 days…. Anyway, a typical evening goes something like this:

Wife: What do you feel like for dinner?
Me: I haven’t thought about it, what do you feel like?
Wife: I don’t know, I wanted to know what you want?
Me: I’m fine with anything, what sounds good to you?
Wife: I don’t know, I want you to tell me?
Me: Fine, lets have Chicken.
Wife: I don’t want that…

(for sanity I’ll leave out acts II-XL, suffice it to say she eats a lot of cereal and I’m keeping the macaroni and cheese companies in business).

No Bolshoi for this man tonight, however. One part meat, one part grill, three parts beer is the recipe for a perfect caveman dinner. Why bother with all the accompaniments, in my world that just means more dishes to do. Put the plates in dishwasher, turn off the grill and cleanup is done. All that was left was an hour long powernap on the couch. Maslow had it wrong, there aren’t 8 levels in our hierarchy of needs, there are only 4… Eat, Sleep, Sports, Sex. To bad its’ not football season, but hey, 2 out of 4 is a good night in my book.