Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The NFL Draft Drinking Game

With the NFL Draft fast approaching it is time to start preparing for those draft day parties we all love to have. The following is a Doghouse guide to making the most of your party.

Draft Pick Drinking
Guidelines for drinking after each pick is made.

1. Houston: If the Texans take Vince Young, make yourself some Texas Tea. If they select Reggie Bush, have a sex on the beach. If they take anyone else with the first pick, make sure you are on the right channel and take a shot of beer.

2. New Orleans: No matter who the Saints pick, if you are from New Orleans, drink a Hurricane. If you are not from New Orleans, take a shot of beer, then turn on all the fans and water in the house and leave running until after the Titans pick.

3. Titans: Turn on your local country music station and leave on until the Jets pick and take a shot of Jack.

4. NY Jets: If the Jets select Matt Leinart, stand up and yell 'Greeny'. Last one to do so has to get a manicure/pedicure. Everyone else takes a sip of Evian. If the Jets select anyone else, swear at the tv and take a shot of beer.

5. Green Bay Packers: If you are a fan, stand up and recite Vince Lombardi's coaching achievements, then take a shot of beer. If you are not a Green Bay fan, but are watching the draft with one, take a shot of beer and slip a rohypnol in their drink so you can enjoy the rest of the draft without hearing how Favre will take them back to the Super Bowl this year.

6. San Francisco: If the 49'ers select AJ Hawk, stand up and say F' Michigan then tap a new Keg. If the 49'ers select anyone else, make yourself a mixed drink and comment on your neighbors shoes.

7. Oakland: Drink a beer and challenge anyone not wearing black to a fight. If that doesn't work, punch the person to your right.

8. Buffalo: If you are a fan, stand up and say, 'I can't believe we hired Dick', then take a shot of Jagermeister. If you are not a fan, stand up and say, 'I can't believe they hired Dick', then make the Buffalo fans take a second shot of Jager.

9. Detroit: If the Lions draft a Wide Receiver, TE, or QB, all fans must drink a bottle of Colt, then row themselves to the middle of Lake Michigan in a leaky boat. If they draft anyone else, stand up, say 'Fire Millen' and take a shot of Colt. All non fans can use this time to hit the head.

10. Arizona: If you are a Cardinals fan, take a shot of beer no matter who is drafted. If you are not a Cardinals fan, turn your heat up to 100 and keep drinking beer until your Packer friend wakes up.

Draft Coverage Drinking
Guidelines for drinking during the general draft coverage.

Unless otherwise noted, you must take a shot of beer after each of the following occur:
  • Take one shot of beer for every reporter ESPN has in NY to cover the draft;
  • Mel Kiper says 'He's been moving up my board';
  • They say the word 'Katrina';
  • Each time NY fans boo a pick;
  • They show a player in the blue room wearing diamond studs the size of a small bowling ball;
  • They show a player's mother crying after her son is drafted;
  • Announcers say the word 'Favre'; If they use 'Favre' and 'Super Bowl' in the same sentence, drink the whole can;
  • They say, 'The Duke', stand up and take a drink;
  • They say, 'Lets go to the Podium';
  • Any announcer says, 'I don't agree with that pick';

These are just a guide of course, I don't want a weeks worth of posts taken up in one blog. Let us know how they work for you!


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