Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Sneak Preveiw: 2006 NFL Draft Results Part II

Sorry for the delay in reporting back to you, but we'll go back live to the draft now as the Titans come up for their pick. If it is like the first two picks, should be interesting.

1. Houston -Tom Delay, Texas 2. New Orleans -Michael Brown, Oklahoma 3. Tennessee 4. NY Jets 5. Green Bay 6. San Francisco

Alright, the commissioner is approaching the podium now.....

"Paul Tagliabue: With the third pick, in the 2006, NFL Draft, The Tennessee Titans select Senator Bill Frist, MD out of Tennessee"

Wow, sticking to form, the Titans have laid a very interesting pick down on us. Lets switch back to the ESPN coverage.

Mel: Well, as you know, since Bill First has been at the top of my draft board since he became Senate Majority Leader. If you had bought my draft guide you would know that.

Tom: Am I in the right place? What is Norm Chow going to do with Senator Frist to help this ball club.

John: On a team with continuous health problems and an aging veteran QB, I can see where Senator Frist fits into this organization.

Mike: Lets go live to a statement from Titans Owner Bud Adams.

Bud Adams: While we took a hard look at Leinart, Bush, and Young, it is with great pride that we select Senator Frist to join our organization. With Senator Frist's uncanny ability to remotely diagnosis injuries and speculate medical prognosis in patients he has never even met or seen, he has huge upside in keeping Steve McNair, Chris Brown, and all other players healthy and on the field. His breakthrough work on the Schiavo case in Florida really marked him as the man we wanted for this team

Again, this is huge. It isn't the Pac 10, Big 10, or SEC that is dominating the early part of this draft, it is the previously seldom used and much maligned Capital District of Washington DC that is now responsible for the first three picks.

With the NY Jets now on the clock, we can safely tell you the spectators are building themselves up into a frenzied climax here as we wait for their card to be walked up to the podium. With all of the traditional college stars still available, this should give the Jets franchise a chance to make huge stride within their division. We didn't describe the scene before, but while we wait lets just say wall to wall people. ESPN has 49 announcers covering the draft, while ESPN Radio's Mike Greenberg has set up his own eco tent, stocked with Evian and Dora the Explorer cds. He is even wearing a NY Jets Leinart jersey that someone made up for him. Ok, here comes the Jets draft card.

"Paul Tagliabue:With the fourth pick, in the 2006, NFL Draft, The NY Jets select Rudolph Guliani, Republican, from New York."

Oh my god, you have to hear this for yourself. The Giant fans are laughing uncontrolably and, oh that is just so sad, if you have never seen a metrasexual man cry before, it is not a pretty picture. Hope the NYFD is here, they are going to have to start pumping water from that eco tent soon. Looks like Golic is going in there to console Greeny so things should, wait, scratch that, Golic just wanted to finish off Greeny's sandwich. What does ESPN have to say.

Mel: I can't pretend anymore, I have no idea what the hell is going to happen.

Tom: Does anyone here have a bottle?.

John: Former Mayor Guliani should bring a lot of character and class to the organization.

Mike: Lets go live to a statement from Jets Owner Woody Johnson.

Woody Johnson: I'll be straight with everyone. We really don't have a need for a man of Rudolph Guliani's immense talent, but frankly the Democratic National Party paid us an amount we couldn't refuse to draft him and keep him out of the 2008 Presidential elections, god knows the Democrats need all the help they can get. If they couldn't beat a President with as poor of rating and lack of success as President Bush, what chance would they have against a man like Mr Guliani. No, the only way for the Democrats to prevail in '08 is for the Jets to sign the former mayor and contractually bar him from running, not that we need to, honestly, when was the last time a Jet has won anything?

This is so exciting, we really can't describe. Alright, Green Bay is on the clock, oh, wait a second, I guess their pick is in, they are coming up to the podium again already.

"At this time, the NFL is going to suspend the 2006 NFL Draft. It seems Mr. Favre is not ready to make his decision on retirement yet, so we will continue with the draft at that point. Based on current conversations, this might also force us to push back the start of mini camps, training camps, the regular season, and the post season. The league will keep everyone updated on the status of these negotiations, thank you."

Ok, well, we all know it may be 2020 before that decision is made so we'll just sign off now. Enjoy the rest of the Draft, if it ever comes off. Oh, last thing, we were able to snap this picture of the #1 draft pick for you, enjoy!


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