Sneak Preview: 2006 NFL Draft Results

As you know, the 2006 NFL Draft is coming up on April 29th in New York City. Unfortunately, that is 17 days to long for people with our attention spans. So, as only your friends at the Doghouse can do, we have stepped into our 'way back machine' (just facing the other way, ala Calvin and Hobbes) to view the first few picks live and in person (don't ask how we can report live from the future, something to do with quantum physics). Perfect, it looks like we are getting ready to start.

1. Houston 2. New Orleans 3. Tennessee 4. NY Jets 5. Green Bay 6. San Francisco

Alright, the commissioner is approaching the podium now.....

"Paul Tagliabue:With the first pick, in the 2006, NFL Draft, The Houston Texans pick Tom Delay, Fundraiser out of Texas"

Holy $%#* you should hear the pandimonium going on in this place. Lets hear what the commentators have to say...

Mel: Well, as you know, since Tom Delay stepped down I've had him moving up the draft board. If you had bought my draft guide you would know that.

Tom: How can this pick possibly help this franchise? They have serious holes to fill with Coach Kubiak in his first year, he can't possibly be happy with this pick.

John: Possible the Texans saw something to be concerned about with top prospects Young, Bush and Lenart.

Mike: Lets go live to a statement from Texans Owner Bob McNair.

Bob McNair: We are excited to make Tom Delay part of the Texans franchise. As most fans realize, in the end its' about the money, and no one knows about raising money like Tom. Reggie Bush or Vince Young would have certainly made us a better team, but with Delay on board we feel he can generate an easy 100 million in tax free revenue for this franchise year in and year out. An opportunity like that is just to hard to pass up.

Wow, in a weird way that really does make sense. Well, that should make New Orleans faithful happy, they have their choice of top prospects left. Looks like their pick is in, lets listen.

"Paul Tagliabue:With the second pick, in the 2006, NFL Draft, The Houston Texans pick former FEMA director Michael Brown, Crisis Management Consultant, out of Oklahoma."

Wow, we didn't think anything could be more shocking than Tom Delay going #1, boy were we wrong.

Mel: Well, as you know, since Michael Brown stepped down I've had him moving up the draft board. If you had bought my draft guide you would know that.

Tom: Where am I, the twilight zone? Coach Payton can't be happy with this pick.

John: Possible the Saints saw some bright spots in how he managed the Katrina disaster.

Mike: Lets go live to a statement from Saints Owner Tom Benson.

Tom Benson: I realized after last season that if I ever wanted to be able to come back to New Orleans again, I had to find someone that would be even more hated than I am. We're confident that Michael Brown will fill that role admirably.

Wow, I can't wait for you all to see this in two weeks. We'll listen in and give you another report later.